Naughty sweeties

Travelling from Heathrow to Copenhagen on the world’s favourite airline allowed me to pick up a copy of the Daily Mail, a newspaper well-known for it’s traditional values. I guess it depends which historical figures you judge to be traditional… Adolf Hitler maybe? Anyway, there was an amazing picture of a 25 foot great white shark on page 3, and while coming into land I had to turn off the Archos and my eye caught a reader’s letter. This wasn’t the usual old guff from people who still believe Britain has an empire and that National Service will cure homosexuality… oh no, this is, shall we say, priceless and involves the sweet wrapper seen here.

Taking a glance at the picture, you have to ask “what is the green chap doing”? I can’t really come up with any good explanation, but I do know it’s not half as questionable as the cherry version (don’t take my word for it, Google it). Even if I was to believe the worst, I wouldn’t be bothered to write an enraged letter to the Daily Mail. But that’s okay because Mr Simpkins from Pontefract has done it for us.

Angry Mr Simpkins describes the illustration as appalling and says that the lime (he’s not actually a lime, he’s just a green character) wears a “lurid and distasteful expression”. By this point I was so appalled I was laughing. The letter goes on to describe a heated exchange of words with the shop manager (yep, like it’s his fault) which resulted in Mrs Simpkins becoming so distressed she had to sit down in the car park. Mr Simpkins was glad he prevented his children from seeing the image – like most normal children I’m sure they study sweet wrappers intensely, checking the sugar and E-number levels before deciding whether or not to consume them.

After writing to the manufacturer, Haribo, Mr Simpkins received an unsatisfactory reply denying any intention of naughtiness, and he is now urging members of his church to boycott Haribo products. There was no further indication as to whether Mrs Simpkins was still in the car park in a sitting or standing position. I’m sure that if she saw the cherry flavour wrapper she’d need a lie-down.

Incidentally, Mr Simpkins isn’t the first to complain about the Maoam wrappers. Back in 2004 the Blasien Jesuit College claimed that “the sweets wrapped in bright yellow, red and green colours show lemons, limes, strawberries, cherries and oranges romping with each other”. This is clearly an inaccurate statement, as the green chap is clearly not a lime. But it’s a good job Haribo decided against the banana flavour.