Family Fortunes

Question Answer provided
Name something you would do regularly on a Saturday Clean my teeth
Name something you would put on top of a salad Whipped cream
Name a cartoon mouse Top Cat
Name any symbol shown on a one-armed bandit Tomato
A fuel that can be burnt in a fire grate Petrol
A way of saying it’s cold It’s chickens
A measurement of liquid Paint
A type of big cat Persian
Something with a hole in it A window
Something you might take from a hotel as a souvenir The lamps
Something you eat with fish A plate
An animal that lives wild in Britain A lion
Not including cutlery, a type of fork Banana
Something a blind person might use A sword
A song with moon in the title Blue Suede Moon
A bird with a long neck Naomi Campbell
An occupation where you need a torch A burglar
A famous brother and sister Bonnie and Clyde
A dangerous race The Arabs
An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers A horse
Something that floats in the bath Water
Something you wear on the beach A deckchair
Something red A cardigan
A famous cowboy Buck Rogers
A famous royal Mail
A number you have to memorise 7
Something you do before going to bed Sleep
Something you put on walls Roofs
Something in the garden that’s green A shed
Something that flies that doesn’t have an engine A bicycle with wings
Something you might be allergic to Skiing
A musical instrument you can play in the bath A drum kit
Something a cat does Goes to the toilet
Something you do in the bathroom Decorate
An animal you might see at the zoo A dog
Something associated with the police Pigs
A sign of the zodiac April
Something slippery A conman
A kind of ache Fillet o’ Fish
A food that can be brown or white Potato
A jacket potato topping Jam
A famous Scotsman Jock
Another famous Scotsman Vinnie Jones
An animal with horns A bee
A non-living object with legs A plant
A domestic animal Leopard
A part of the body beginning with ‘N’ Knee
A way of cooking fish Cod
Something you open other than a door Your bowels
A famous soap opera Romeo and Juliet
One of Harry Enfield’s characters Sooty
Something with a red light A Dalek
A bird that can also be a man’s name Chicken
Something that has a shell Batman
A famous Parisian landmark


And then I was reminded of this priceless moment, which I also had the pleasure of actually seeing. A family of half-wits had somehow managed to get themselves through to the show’s climax, ‘Big Money’. A middle-aged bloke was second up to answer the five quick-fire questions. To his own amusement (but not to the amusement of his disgruntled family who, thanks to this chap, had to do without the £5,000 and the car / holiday) he gave the same answer three times in succession. One answer was good, one was okay (but wouldn’t be most people’s choice), and the other… well… see for yourself:

Something you take to the beach Turkey
Something you buy in a supermarket Turkey
Something you eat at Christmas Turkey



  1. My family, 3 sisters and an aunt, all nurses, were up against a family of firemen. Les Dennis, probably 1988?

    I was asked “Name something you would step on” I hit the button before I really thought about it, and instead of the split second answer “mat”, it came out as “man”!!!

    I have never lived it down. It was quite hilarious. I’ve been trying to find the episode as I lost my copy on VHS, several years ago!

    Any idea where I may find it?

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