The wife says I’m not always impartial on these matters, but sometimes I really do believe the collective world of football (note, the game played by kicking the ball with the feet, not throwing it with the hands while dressed in layers of body armour) have it in for Arsenal. Take Saturday’s game against the South East’s favourite team, Manchester United – ManUre committed 21 fouls but had just 3 players booked. Arsenal committed 15 fouls but had 6 players booked. ManUre were awarded a penalty, while Arsenal’s penalty claim (just as clear-cut) was waved away. And the perpetrator of the foul got away with that one and two other bookable offences, so should have been off the field.

Yes, Arsenal did concede a penalty and an own goal, and therefore lost fair and square, but many were in agreement that Arsenal were the better side. An injury-time goal was disallowed for offside, and yes it was the correct decision… but don’t you wonder what would have happened if the situation was reversed, if ManUre were 2-1 down and scored a dodgy last-minute goal at home?

Now consider the fate of Eduardo. In February 2008 he suffered a broken leg during a match against Birmingham, an injury so horrific that a surgeon’s first reaction was that amputation was a possibility. Of course that didn’t happen and he was playing again within 14 months. Last week Eduardo ‘dived’ during a game against Celtic, winning a penalty in the process. Whether he did dive intentionally to win a penalty, or whether he was making an evasive move to get his legs well out of the goalie’s way, only he will know. The question is, why would UEFA choose this incident to start a witch-hunt against the art of diving? I’ve seen far more blatant examples of diving and play-acting that have received nothing more than a booking. If UEFA have condemned Eduardo to a 2-match ban, are they going to go back over all of the other alleged diving incidents over the past few years? If so, a certain Mr C Ronaldo had better get his defence case ready… perhaps the ManUre fans, when they shouted “cheat” at Eduardo, had forgotten that that the greasy winger often went down like a sniper victim if someone coughed within 3 yards of him.

On a day where the Spuds almost eliminated their relegation concerns with a win over Chelski, a day when Arsenal took another step towards cementing 4th place (best we can hope for) with a win over the increasingly doomed-looking Newcastle, there was a shock win for Fulham. And no-one was more shocked than the ManUre fans, some of whom had travelled nearly 20 miles to watch the spectacle.

So okay, ManYoo are still top and are 10 points ahead of Arsenal, so I have no right to gloat. But this isn’t about gloating, this is about taking up an issue with the BBC. Their news site reported “nine-man Man Utd crash to Fulham” thus giving the impression that Fulham won because ManYoo were only playing with nine men. However, for most of the match Utd had ten men, and didn’t have a second player (the charming Mr Rooney) sent off until after Fulham had scored their second goal. Alright, ManYoo played most of the match with ten men, but that headline does take away some credit from Fulham, whose eleven men probably cost a quarter of the price of Utd’s nine men.

I consider the issue clarified.

Actually, not a good week. Arsenal were very poor against ManYoo, suffering a 4-0 defeat in the F A Cup. It was a busy night on the M6 as a few thousand dejected Arsenal fans headed back South, and tens of thousands of happy ManUre fans headed back South (or headed to Manchester airport to catch flights to Belfast, Dublin, Oslo, etc). Bacary Sagna missed the game after the sudden death of his 28 year old brother Omar.

The mid-week 0-0 draw against AC Milan wasn’t a disaster but certainly makes the away tie difficult. Mind you, a 1-1 draw would be enough to go through.

So, today it was back to the league, with Arsenal hoping to at least maintain a five point lead. Things couldn’t have started in worse fashion with Eduardo suffering a horrific broken leg in the second minute. The injury was so bad that Sky declined to show a replay – but later Match of the Day did (after issuing a warning), and now I wished I’d looked away. No wonder the Arsenal players looked so distraught. That’s Eduardo out for a year. I am glad that Arsene Wenger retracted and apologised for his earlier comments about Martin Taylor, the unfortunate perpetrator of the tackle – I was planning a post to say that I thought Wenger was wrong to make the comments, and ‘excessive’ was exactly the word I would have used.

However…

Wenger has a right to feel aggrieved about other incidents in the game. Birmingham scored from a free kick which was dubious in it’s award to say the least. Later, 2-1 up, Arsenal had a clear penalty claim ignored when Adebayor was held back. But worst of all was Birmingham’s awarded penalty – Gael Clichy was judged to have brought down Stuart Parnaby. But replays clearly showed that Clichy reached the ball first, thus making it a legal tackle. Well done the ref… a closet ManYoo fan perhaps?

Still there was always the hope that Newcastle could get a draw or even a win against ManUre, and surely Newcastle couldn’t suffer a defeat as bad as the last time they met the South East’s favourites (6-0). It certainly wasn’t as bad… but 5-1 was bad enough. What happened to that team who stuffed ManYoo 5-0 in October 1996? David Ginola, Les Ferdinand, Alan Shearer, Philippe Albert… even Darren Peacock… come back, your former club needs you.

I hope Arsenal take the Premier League title, but much more so I hope Eduardo makes a full recovery and is playing again as soon as possible. To me it’s only a game, but to that unfortunate 24 year-old it’s a career and a way of life.

Hampshire’s favourite football manager is spouting crap again. On occasionally-serious footy web site Football365.com Mr Ferguson (pictured here with Ruud van Nistelrooy) delivers these pearls of wisdom…

“Arsenal are playing well, but it’s a long season and they know that, too. They will drop points, there’s no doubt about that.”

This is an incredible revelation – I had just assumed that Arsenal would win every single game from now on. This comes as a big blow to me, and I’m sure Arsene Wenger will spend a few sleepless nights coming to terms with this news.

Dame Alice goes onto to discuss their recent defeat at the hands of Bolton…

“If we hadn’t lost to Bolton then we would have been in a great position.”

Right, but you did lose to Bolton, so get over it. Naughty Bolton for denying ManYoo of their God-given right to win every game. And naughty Bolton again for not trying very hard against Liverpool and letting them win 4-0.

Having been handed a very unlikely life-line by Isreal at the weekend, all England had to do was draw (at home) with Croatia. Just a draw.

McClaren decided to drop Paul Robinson because, as far as we the public could see, he had been unreliable… so Scott Carson started in goal. David James, with years of experience under his belt and having a great season between the sticks for Portsmouth (ignore the Reading game), was the second choice. Irony, as we know, is a fickle mistress, and thus Croatia’s first goal was caused by Carson’s schoolboy error (apologies to any schoolboys reading this).

By the time the second Croatia goal went in, I was at the stage of not being able to decide whether the drama unfolding was comic or tragic. By half-time I had the awful feeling that I wanted a third Croatia goal so that McClaren’s misery could be absolutely, gloriously complete. England were utterly rubbish in the first half. While Croatia looked well-organised and dangerous on the break, England were a shambles.

Croatia obviously had better studs on their boots as they seemed to manage to keep their footing while England slid around like Oliver Reed appearing in ‘Magic Moments from the Keystone Cops on Ice’ (while pissed). And who decided it was a good idea to let our American friends pound the pitch wearing body armour in a game that’s based on diving headlong across the turf… in Autumn, when it’s wet and there isn’t much sunlight? Wembley Stadium, the pride of England, sported a Sunday league-style surface.

As the seconds ticked away, following England’s two goals and Croatia’s third (in the words of the Incubus song “you should be careful what you wish for”) it was pointed out that we could still qualify if Andorra pulled a goal back against Russia. Andorra has a population of about 72,000 but Andorran’s are a minority in their own country (more than 67% of inhabitants are of other nationalities)… you get the point, it wasn’t going to happen.

The BBC web site reports that Steve McClaren has insisted he will not step down. Well, if he doesn’t do us all a favour I hope the FA do, preferably tomorrow.

So that’s it, no UK teams in Euro 2008. Northern Ireland got very near and should be very proud – “something to build on” would be an understatement. Scotland (I’m proud to be half-Scottish) got very near too and did far better than was expected – just falling at the last hurdle, but against world champions Italy there is nothing to be ashamed of. England on the other hand… I’ll use Ports’ word… “pathetic”.

I wasn’t going to write anything about this match, but I can’t let this go. Following today’s 2-2 draw, Moan Utd’s whining old scrote of a manager Dame Alice Ferguson accused referee Howard Webb of favouring Arsenal. Hang on, was he watching the same match as me? In the match I watched, ManUre got a free kick almost every time Arsenal made a tackle on a Utd player. In the same match, Utd’s Anderson committed three bookable offences yet only got booked once (and hence he avoided being sent off). Also, during this match, Utd were awarded a free kick when the odious grease-monkey Ronaldo fell over with no contact whatsoever from Gael Clichy. And finally, the referee wouldn’t have given the second Arsenal goal had the assistant referee not spotted that the ball had clearly gone over the line. So if that’s favouring Arsenal, I hate to think what would have happened if he’d got it in for them.

There was a time when my beloved GameCube suited my needs. The graphics weren’t as good as some as it’s competitors, but it did offer Sega Soccer Slam. Enough said. Later in it’s lifespan I became addicted to FIFA 05, and I’m still progressing through the fifteen year career mode. Career mode is where you become a virtual manager, put a squad together and try to win as much as possible (and also control the players in every game, unless you elect to simulate the match and let the console take over).

Currently I’m managing Arsenal in the year 2015… I started at Leyton Orient (got them promoted and won the F A Cup), then managed Reading before moving onto Monaco (where I put Wayne Rooney, Fernando Torres and Ashley Cole in my line-up), then onto Real Madrid (welcome aboard Mr Steven Gerrard), and then AC Milan. Having brought more success to these already successful teams, I thought I’d bring some of my managerial magic to a team that needed it – Spurs. After two seasons of winning everything (the Premier League, domestic and European trophies) I moved onto Arsenal but failed to get many of my elite Spurs squad to join me. Not that it matters, I’m romping to success anyway.

Other fun aspects included buying greasy diving one-trick-pony Christiano Ronaldo from Man Utd, letting him rot in the Spurs reserves and watching his morale sink like a mafia informer wearing concrete wellies. I did also consider opting to manage Man Utd, selling all their best players, buying crap players, scoring own goals and guiding them to relegation, but I had my impeccable rating to preserve.

Compared to what can now be achieved on the modern consoles, the graphics on GameCube games leave a lot to be desired. But now I have a Wii, there seemed to be an obvious thing to go on my Christmas list… FIFA 08 Wii edition. But then I heard the news that was so catastrophic to my plan – the Wii edition doesn’t feature career mode. And let’s be honest, that’s a bit sh*t.

So now I have three options. The first is to wait until 2008 when Pro Evolution Soccer for the Wii is released. The second and third options are Xbox 360 or PS3 with FIFA 08 in whatever format. This is where I’m stuck (it’s a bit like the Archos versus iPod Touch argument which is still rattling around inside my head).

Choddo, a man who missed out on a mis-spent youth and now endulges in a mis-spent adulthood when he gets time, was absolute in his support for the Xbox. For a moment I thought he was going drive over and frog-march me into the Game store in Camberley to buy one… and they do have the Halo 3 editions of the Xbox in stock (nice shade of green, eh?). But while in the Camberley branch of Game the rather over-enthusiastic assistant manager all but declared his undying love and devotion to the PS3. According to him the graphics are better, the motion sensor controls are great, and the Blu-ray DVD player is an added bonus (assuming Sony win that format war).

Thoughts and opinions welcome.

Let me start by saying that as an Arsenal fan I’m a disgrace. Yes I admit it. A few years back I was going to most home games, but (bearing in mind it’s been the home of the Gunners for over a year) this was my first visit to the Emirates Stadium. Having said that, that’s still one more time than most ManUre fans have been to Old Trafford. To make matters worse, I didn’t even pay for the ticket – it was courtesy of one of the best things about being in a sales role… corporate hospitality. Food, entertainment, more food, some free goodies, a bit more food, and then see the match. Lovely.

The itinerary told us to be at Highbury House for 17:30 and make our way to the Board Room. The actual Board Room where the Arsenal directors meet? Yep, apparently so. The itinerary also stated “Champagne reception with Arsenal legend” – and they weren’t kidding. We walked through the door and were met by none other than Charlie George.

During drinks Charlie (see, we’re on first-name terms) talked about his playing days, and after some excellent food Charlie talked to the party about the success of the club (both financially and on the field) under Arsene Wenger. He then posed for photos, autographed programmes (I have one, and no you can’t buy it from me), and presided over a prize draw for an Arsenal pennant signed by the first team (which I didn’t win – one of our customers did, which was probably a good result).

Soon it was time to go see the match, so we said our farewells to Charlie and made our way to our seats in the Emirates Stadium (see the Wallpaper page for some photos). It’s an incredible place, and of course more spacious than the cramped Highbury in every respect. To cap off an excellent evening, Arsenal battered poor old Slavia Prague 7-0 (with two goals for Theo Walcott, even though it was past his bed-time).

Way too early. When last we discussed the footy, ManYoo were languishing in the drop zone and Florida Steve was talking about not being able to give Chelski that kind of lead. And now look at the table. After the final whistles blew on Saturday, the top four had an all-to-familiar look (albeit not in the order that many would have predicted). But then Manchester City decided it was time to recapture some of the form that took them to the top in the first couple of weeks, and Chelski were duly pushed down into 5th place.

In our last look at the table, thirteen places and five points separated Arsenal and ManYoo… now it’s just three places and two points. How did that happen? Arsenal won all their games during this period. Ah, but look closely – Arsenal have played one match less and therefore could go five points clear again. True, they have to win that game in hand. Their next match is against Derby, who with one point from five matches were starting to look like a push-over. Ironically, if Newcastle had managed to give Derby a pasting tonight then ManYoo would have been dumped out of the top four. However, spoilsports that they are, Derby somehow managed a 1-0 win. I just hope they won’t spoil my day next Saturday.

And finally, in my previous football-related post I asked “that guy who writes for the Daily Mail who reckons that Spurs will knock Arsenal out of the top four… how are you feeling about that prediction now?” – any further comments on that idea mate, or would you like to conveniently forget it ever went to print?

Being smug about how well your football team is doing is never a good idea, for it is exactly the sort of thing that will come back and haunt you, bite you on the backside, at a later date (or if you’re unlucky, at a date in the very near future).

With two wins and a draw, and a game in hand, Arsenal actually have the potential to top the table. However, as anyone with any sense will tell you, it’s better to be in Chelsea’s position and actually have those points. Fair enough. And Liverpool also have that same potential.

But hang on a moment… what’s going on at the bottom end of the table? Man Utd, last season’s champions, in 19th place? Surely not. They spent over £50 million on new players during the Summer, how can they be wallowing around in the Premier League basement? Mr Ronaldo could know the answer, but is powerless to do anything about it while he sits out a few games following some rather ungentlemanly behaviour. Mr Rooney too can only sit and watch, although he’ll most likely be hobbling about following Coleen on yet another shopping expedition.

Amusing as I find ManYoo’s predicament, I’m not 24 hours old and know that they will soon be in the top four. To be honest, they could jump up to 8th or 9th (possibly even 7th) with a win over the Spuds tomorrow. And that won’t be anywhere near as amusing as the table as it stands right now. Ho-hum.

And spare a thought for poor old Derby… I know it’s very early days, but they’re already looking like they’re going down so fast they’ll burn up on re-entry into the Championship.

One last thing… that guy who writes for the Daily Mail who reckons that Spurs will knock Arsenal out of the top four… how are you feeling about that prediction now?