The joy of owning pets (3rd February 2003)

I know that I've previously mentioned the fact that we're the proud owners of a rather cute and very alert (would-be burglars take note) Cocker Spaniel (Molly) - we also have an old and rather grumpy rabbit (Harry, although I wanted to call him Randall). Every now and again, pets need medical attention. A couple of years ago Harry required surgery to remove a cancerous testicle (which coincided with weepy eyes - not surprising really... if one of my 'nads was the size of a grapefruit, it would make my eyes water too). Rabbits only cost about £20, so even though I'm quite attached to the grumpy little sod, the £130 bill was a bit of a shock.

Last year Molly needed an operation on her back. Up until that point, the pet insurance didn't seem to be very good value for money (certain ailments weren't covered, there was always an excess charge), and we decided to do without it. Well, hindsight is a wonderful, and I reminded myself of that when I forked out just under £1,000 to put our loveable head of security back on all four paws.

So, what I fun-filled couple of weeks I've had. I now have my own reserved seat in the vet's waiting room. A couple of weeks ago Molly developed infections in both ears (it's common among spaniels, those floppy ears don't allow much air to circulate). Then Harry (now nearly 9 years old) suffered a reoccurrence of the weepy eyes, which in turn caused sore skin underneath the eyes. Tomorrow Molly goes back for the third and final check-up, and the day after Harry goes back for the third time in two weeks to have his (wait for it) tear ducts cleared. In between all this, Molly also developed a limp (worrying for a dog who's had recent back surgery), but this disappeared after a day or so... it was probably caused by cramp (well, she sleeps all day, she was probably laying on it). I should mention here that the reason she sleeps all day is because she's awake all night, patrolling our property and making sure that we're safe. Probably.

You'll notice from the picture above that the mutt has a rather smart new coat (I tried my best to get the dopey canine to stand still, face the camera... no Molly, don't walk away, etc, etc). Do you know what the most absorbent material known to man is? Cocker Spaniel fur. She only has to step on damp ground and she's soaking wet up the neck. Her fur soaks up water like a sponge. There's two remedies to this... the first is her raincoat with legs - only the paws, the head and (thankfully) the backside are exposed. But it's a pain in the arse to put on, and the paws still soak up enough water to douse a bush-fire. Solution number two is to have her scalped... this happened recently, but within a day the bitter Winter weather really set in. Then guilt set in - the poor dog has a full-body buzz-cut and I need my scarf. So we bought her a new coat. Well, I don't want her catching a cold... I can't bear any more trips to the vet.

I'll pass on the snowman construction this time, thanks (30th January 2003)

Three weeks ago we had a significant amount of snow, but as reported on this page it didn't affect the Great British traffic too badly. However, today we weren't so lucky - it fell just before dawn, and was fully settled before the rush hour started. How come it's called 'rush hour' when it's the slowest moving period of the day? We have a colleague from Sweden in our office, and he must find our inability to deal with snow amusing and at the same time infuriating. I've been to Sweden in December - the snow was falling just like it did today, and had been for most of the week. But life carries on, and it inconveniences our Abba-loving Baltic friends no more than a spot of light drizzle hinders our daily routine. However, one moderate fall of the white stuff here and we're buggered.

Take my experience today... I knew the journey to work wasn't going to be easy, so I hurried in order to leave the house at 07:25, expecting the 12 mile journey to be slower than normal. "Slower than normal". That's one way of putting it. Just after 09:00 I arrived back at home having never managed to get any further than 1 mile from my front door. I have three possible routes to work - straight down the A30 to Staines (easy but prone to jams and hold-ups at the level crossing at Sunningdale), along the back roads through Chobham and Virginia Water (complex and less direct, but avoids the major jams), and finally, down the M3 (which involves either 2 miles of the first route, or traveling 4 miles in the opposite direction to join the motorway at another junction). I immediately ruled out route 3, started with route 1, and after taking 25 minutes to go half a mile, I turned round to try route 2. After a further 20 minutes of being stationary, a kindly pedestrian told me that the road ahead was closed thanks to some bright spark who'd decided to carry on traveling at his normal rush-hour speed despite the road being covered by a layer of compacted frozen water. He paid for his actions by ending up in a ditch. Well, screw him, but this was now causing some issues for me.

So, I turned round, and exactly one hour after I'd originally left home I was back in exactly the same spot and opting for route 1 again. I got to the A30 half an hour later, only to find that the quite steep route down Jenkins Hill was littered with abandoned cars that couldn't make it up the hill, and had a slow-moving jam going in my direction as far as the eye could see. Having now experienced an average speed that was too low for the car's on-board computer to compute, I opted to negotiate the roundabout and head back home. But the fun wasn't over yet - I got stuck at the roundabout on a patch of ice, wheel-spinning until I eventually got some grip which allowed me to move forward.

What really amazes me is that I phoned into work, which is only 12 miles away, and was greeted by disbelief - there wasn't a flake of snow to be seen in Staines. Snow continued to fall throughout the day. I wouldn't use the word 'blizzard' lightly - I'm sure my colleagues in Chicago and Boston would say "call that a blizzard?". But when the snow travels horizontally at high speed, as far as I'm concerned, that's a blizzard. Okay with that?

Nothing much going on (27th January 2003)

Pretty soon, everyone is going to either have, or know someone with, a weblog (or 'blog' as some people call them). A 'blog' is basically a daily diary of what's going on in your life - your thoughts, your opinions, etc, etc. So, is this a blog? No, not really... I've barely had enough interesting stuff to make an entry in January. If I had to write something every day I'd be telling you my average speed during my journey to work or what I had for lunch. No-one needs to, or wants to, know that.

The most interesting event of January...? We had our annual sales meeting in Barcelona, and on the way back we were delayed 2 hours because of some problem with the luggage. In the end everyone had to get off the plane, walk under the plane, and identify their luggage before getting back on. My life is richer for that new experience.

I celebrated my 38th birthday while I was away. Celebrated? Probably the wrong word - how did I get to be that old? I'm going to have to start behaving responsibly soon. I had to wait until I got home to open my pressies (handed to me very early in the morning by a four year old so excited you'd have thought it was her birthday - well, she hadn't seen me for a week). I got some CDs, a book on digital photography, and 'Ice Age' on DVD. If you've never seen 'Ice Age' I can't recommend it highly enough - it's much funnier than 'Shrek' and 'Toy Story'.

On the astronomy front, Jupiter is in opposition next week, and Mercury, Venus and Mars are all visible in the morning sky.

And that's it for January. If you want to read something interesting, go the the Lotus web site and find out what's been going on at Lotusphere. See you in February.

Deep and crisp and even (8th January 2003)

First we get weeks of rain (and the inevitable floods), and now snow. We actually got a bit lucky today - usually if we get two inches of snow if brings the whole country to a total standstill. Traffic slows down to 5 mph (down from it's usual 7 mph) and the train operators, whose services are always unpunctual or nonexistent, can suddenly and proudly boast an almost-legitimate reason for their ineffectiveness. But on this occasion the snow fell during the day while traffic was crawling along the roads, thus not allowing it to settle in the way it would have done if it had fallen during the night. Shame it hadn't fallen two weeks earlier - we haven't had a proper White Christmas since I was 5 years old, almost 20 years ago (or thereabouts).

After a meeting in Bedfont I decided to miss the traffic and spend the rest of the afternoon working at home, and after doing enough to ease my conscious, I suggested to the offspring that we build a snowman (which is something that I can't remember doing in the last 25 years). This was indeed the heaviest snow my daughter had ever seen, so it was something of a landmark day. Lauren's interest in this pursuit lasted about 15 minutes, and she retired indoors to play the Barbie Rapunzel computer game for the 37th time since Boxing Day (that was, without doubt, £19.99 well spent).

This left Camberley's prime candidate for village idiot to complete the task on his own... which I did, even though the construction outlasted my own enthusiasm. Shaping a snow body isn't as easy as you'd think. But I couldn't leave a semi-complete anorexic headless snow-mound on the front garden, so I was faced with a decision... kick it down or carry on. You can see the result here - a fine specimen I think you'll agree (even if he is a bit on the slim side). And it's satisfied my urge to build another one anytime in the next 25 years. This being digital photography I could have elected to add a virtual carrot later - but take it from me, the lid from an old can of WD40 makes a splendid nose. I had to repossess the hat and scarf after taking the photo, but he'll get over it.

Aaaarrrggghhh, flood! (2nd January 2003)

Welcome to 2003. A promising start to the year with Arsenal topping the Premiership. Saddam seems to be still alive, but there's time to fix that (although I'd rather him and George just shook hands). Still no sign of Mr Bin Laden - I think looking for a bloke with a long beard hiding in a cave in some Middle East mountain range is rather foolish... by now, if he's got any sense, he'll have blonde hair, bit tits and a small farm in Uruguay. But enough about all that... we've had a spot of rain here. Being rather keen on astronomy (have I mentioned that?) I tend to complain about cloudy skies more than the average resident of South East England. But this is now getting ridiculous. I arrived at work today to be told that the power was going to be shut off and the office was to be closed, probably for the rest of the week. Why? The photo here shows why (thanks to my friend and colleague Jon 'Spuddy' Crouch who took the photo with his new Sony PDA - the flash git).

Flood special - click here for more pictures.

If you're thinking that this merely looks like some lovely rural British scene, let me put you straight - that expanse of water on the near side of the trees... that's where I normally park my car. The people who live across the river must be extremely nervous, even those who had their house rebuilt and raised by five feet last year. This picture was taken in the morning, and it continued to rain for most of the day. A basic knowledge of geography (the source of the Thames in the hills, that sort of stuff) tells you that it can only get worse as more water drains into the river.

The flood is already worse than two years ago, when another set of residents across the river lost their boat (it was tied up but dragged under the swollen river). And I think this is worse than 1992 when sand-bags just about saved the electrical station at the back of the car park. This time round we haven't been so lucky. The person who left their car in the car park while they went skiing over the Christmas holiday can vouch for that.

Finally, if you're thinking that having your office closed for a few days sounds really cool, let me put you straight. It's a pain in the arse. I must get broadband installed.

Blink and you missed it (31st December 2002)

That had to be the quickest Christmas holiday ever. One minute I'm wishing everyone at work a Merry Christmas and saying that I wasn't in on Christmas Eve, and before you know it I'm back at work a week later.

The DVD and CD elves were busy this year, and I got a Jelly Belly jelly bean machine (like this one - follow the link), and - how cool is this? - I got a star named after me. My sister-in-law and her husband (who works here too) registered a star as the 'Dadams Star'. It's situated in Andromeda if you're interested. And if you're really interested, the ascension is 0h 42m 50.66s and the declination is 41° 17' 5.24". If the f***ing clouds ever clear I'll try to locate it.

This set me thinking... perhaps somewhere else in our galaxy there's a strange-looking seven foot purple bloke with six arms hanging a certificate on his wall, stating that our own sun has been named the 'Quarg Star' after said alien in return for a small amount of some extraterrestrial currency. Whatever, this is a great addition to my celestial property portfolio... I already own an acre of the moon, a rather nice spot a mere 200 km from Copernicus (that's the really big crater).

Back on the subject of Jelly Belly jelly beans, I have some good news (good news for me anyway)... Kiwi and Red Apple have now been adopted as official flavours. Fantastic, eh? I was concerned because they hadn't been doing well in the trial flavours poll. But now all is well in the world.

Well, that's it for 2002 - a happy new year to all of my many readers. See you in 2003 (which will be on this page fairly soon). Now, if you don't mind, I'm off to watch disc one of four of 'The Fellowship of the Ring' extended edition DVD.

Two towers, one cheeseburger and a bucket of popcorn please (23rd December 2002)

I was just sitting here wondering who won the great cinema competition of 2002. The score is three to the offspring ('Peter Pan - Return to Neverland', 'Stuart Little 2', and 'Lilo and Stitch'), only one to the wife (the Hugh Grant yawnathon 'About a Boy') and three to me ('Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clowns', the awfully good 'Spider-man' and to finish the year 'The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers'). And thus I declare myself the winner, because I wanted to see 'Lilo and Stitch' as well. I never did get round to seeing 'Harry Potter and the whatever the sequel is called' or the latest James Bond shoot-em-up, and I really couldn't give a monkeys.

Deciding to cap off a content-free couple of weeks with some info about the latest happenings in Middle Earth, I had a look at what I wrote about 'The Fellowship of the Ring' last year. Mentions of Power Rangers and Batman were perhaps a bit cruel. Without wishing to be a bit of a Tolkien-nerd, I have to say that 'The Two Towers' is a cinematic masterpiece. Everything about it - particularly the scenery - is breathtaking, especially when you consider that they had to contend with the fact that this is the middle section of an incredibly long story. One particular item of note is the computer-generated Gollum, the once-Hobbit-like creature corrupted by the power of the Ring. If you've seen the film, you'll know what I mean - this virtual member of the cast is mesmerising and must rate as the best ever use of special effects in any film. If you haven't seen the film, don't be put of by all those sad buggers who bang on about it like it's some kind of religion. I haven't read the books, and it doesn't matter.

So, all this said, I'm rather looking forward to part three next Christmas. But keep two facts in mind. The first is that if airlines can't be held responsible for deep-vein thrombosis, cinemas can't be either... even if a film does last long beyond the standard cramp threshold. Secondly, late in 2004, one of your mates may invite you round his house to watch the whole trilogy on DVD in one sitting. Make sure you get a comfortable chair. If you decide to include the DVD's special features, take a sleeping bag.

It's the most wonderful time of the year - 2002 edition (1st December 2002)

Why? Because Arsenal are four points clear at the top of the Premiership? Well, that's good for starters. However, it would have been nice to see a draw between Moan Utd and Liverpool today, but instead Hampshire's favourite football shirt supplier won 2-1. Even more jarring was the sight of the once-crap Diego Forlan knocking in two goals. A few months ago the flaxen-haired South American wouldn't have been able to hit the Great Pyramid of Cheops with a beach-ball at point-blank-range. Now he's managed to elevate himself from being the biggest waste of money ever to just a fairly big waste of money. I'm a bit annoyed about this, but a man even more annoyed is Emperor Ming-lookalike and fellow Moneybags Utd player Juan Veron... because Forlan's rise to mediocrity puts him back in contention for the title of the world's biggest waste of money. £24 million and an empty medal cabinet. Ho ho.

So, what else? Well, it's not the weather (rain, clouds, rain, wind and some more rain). It's not the leaves falling into the garden from those bloody oak trees. I filled two rubbish sacks yesterday, and by the afternoon of today there were more in the garden than I'd cleared up the day before.

What is great, of course, is the imminent arrival of Christmas. The wife is getting excited (the Christmas CDs are out already) and the offspring can't wait for the next day so she can open the next door on her advent calendar. We actually have three advent calendars... the offspring has a 'Baby Born' calendar - every day provides a new toy or accessory to accompany the miniature unattractive doll found behind door one. The wife has one - it's a decorative cloth Christmas tree that you hang a new decoration on every day. And get this... the dog has an advent calendar. Yes, Molly has a calendar containing enough doggy treats to keep her happy for the next twenty-four days (although, like most dogs, if she had a choice she'd take them all now).

Regular readers (or those who've been kind enough - or bored enough - to read all of the archives) will know that the festive season also heralds the arrival of illuminated plastic Christmas decorations in the Camberley area... and probably in your area too. Blessed as we are, the house behind us usually sports a most attractive illuminated plastic Santa Claus. It must be December, because it's there now. Fortunately, our trees grew some more during the Summer, and this lovely Yuletide addition is now mostly obscured by fir trees. And it's not until you take the dog for a walk and see what's on the other side of the fence that you experience the full horror. Pity the people who live across the road.

One final theme emerging this Christmas is the idea of 'self-service gifts'. How does that work? Well, the wife goes shopping, buys something expensive, and then hands it to me saying "wrap this up for me, it's for Christmas". That's fine, as long as I'm not accused of a lack of effort when the time comes to pull off the wrapping paper. Then we come onto the subject of what I want for Christmas. My wishes are simple: a credit card bill we can pay off in one go, a bank balance with no negatives, and a few CDs. Not too much to ask for, eh? No... except you know the cheapest place to buy CDs? On the Internet... which only I have access to... so I'm ordering them. Who said the spirit of Christmas was dead?

Popstars: The Travesty (30th November 2002)

What are the chances of that...? (18th November 2002)

Many years ago, when the wife and I were on our honeymoon in Bali, we were in a shop and we bumped into a schoolfriend of the wife's who was also on her honeymoon. I always thought that rated as a fairly astounding coincidence... until I heard this.

The wife's sister and her husband (who also works with me) were taking an extended holiday in Australia. They booked an excursion to a rainforest... and among the small party was the vicar who conducted their wedding service in Byfleet last year (this was also the same vicar who conducted our wedding service too). I challenge anyone to beat that.

Support the fire-fighters (17th November 2002)

Residents of the UK will know that we've had a 48-hour fire-fighters strike, as they campaign for more pay. The salary these guys are asking for is something that we would struggle to survive on... their existing financial reward is of course significantly less. On Thursday night the Egham crew left their picket line to attend a serious road traffic accident, and managed to free a critically injured driver from his vehicle where the valiant but ultimately under-trained stand-in crews had failed. They saved his life, and that's what they do for a living... often risking their own lives. Their jobs are among the most worthwhile in the country, yet the government refuse to pay them a decent wage. Oh, it's okay for the government to spend hundreds of millions of pounds on a building that looks like an up-turned wok, fill it with crap that no-one's interested in, and then give it away for bugger-all just over a year later. Someone from the government even had the gall to suggest that vacancies in the fire service were heavily oversubscribed to, and therefore their section of the job market couldn't demand a highly competitive wage. Let's see what happens when their £2 million house in Belgravia goes up in smoke and the emergency is attended to by a 50-year-old badly-equipped fire engine manned by a bunch of replacements who (for reasons beyond their control) haven't got a f***ing clue what they're doing.

Beware of sharp objects in the road (12th November 2002)

I'm always complaining about the clouds and streetlamps, and how they hamper the poor amateur astronomer. Well, tonight I found myself under clear skies with no streetlamps around to fill the atmosphere with light pollution. Great... but, oh cruel irony, my telescope was several miles away (occupying it's normal position under the stairs). However, I must remember the prime location that I found myself in when my rear driver-side tyre split and brought me to a halt. One moment I was driving along smoothly, then I was thinking "wow, this is a rough surface", and the next moment I was looking for somewhere remotely safe to pull in. Actually, remote is a good word. But, devoid of streetlamps, and with a great elevated position (on a bridge over the M3) it provided an excellent astronomy platform, perfect for seeing objects low in the sky.

I briefly considered jacking up the car myself and putting the spare wheel on, but on a very dark road (wearing dark clothes) it didn't seem like a very good idea even if the oncoming traffic could see the warning triangle. The repair job would have put me out in the road. Luckily, the BMW emergency service covers flat tyres, so I decided to put their service to the test. Okay, great recommendation for being a BMW owner approaching. The lady at the service centre said that someone would be with me in about 45 minutes. Not bad, I thought, and I sat in the car to wait. The mechanic arrived after 30 minutes, and apologised for keeping me waiting. Was he kidding? That's probably the best customer service I've experienced for as long as I can remember.

When the wheel was off, I took the opportunity to examine the damage... a huge split was the problem. The tyre was in good condition other than that - no wear-and-tear - so my rescuer surmised that there must have been something large and sharp in the road. He installed the temporary space-saver spare wheel, and recommended that until I got the proper wheel back on I shouldn't exceed 50 mph. Well, other than my short journey home, my next trip would be to the office tomorrow. Exceed 50 mph? Who's he kidding?

You know, I really hate the English weather (7th November 2002)

Short Summers, long Winters, lots of rain. You can understand why British people emigrate. But as I've mentioned before, I do at least have one good reason to put up with Winter - astronomy. If you find the right spot the skies are dark, and we have the added bonus that most of the interesting stuff in the sky is visible during the Winter months. Saturn is a prime example, coming into opposition (closest approach) during December... although anytime from October to April provides good views. Last night I was joined by my friend and colleague Tim to take advantage of a clear night, and he marveled at seeing the planet's rings through a telescope for the first time.

Later (a lot later), I'd finished doing some work and took a look out the back door. The constellation of Orion had swung into a perfect position, allowing me to point the telescope right at it without even leaving the back door step. Now, as any astronomy bore will tell you, Orion is rich with objects to view - in particular M42, the Orion nebula, which is said to be the best nebula in the skies and easiest to view. Being a comparative novice, I hadn't yet seen it. I found it easily because of Orion's perfect position and because of the clear skies. The view of the gas cloud was amazing at mid-range magnification. The moment matched the first times I myself saw Saturn's rings.

By now it was very late, and I needed to get to bed. But there was still more to be seen... Orion also contains NGC 1977 (but you knew that already) and the neighbouring constellation of Monoceros (The Unicorn) contains the combined nebulae NGC 2237 and NGC 2244. Hopefully the night after (which is now tonight) would be clear. At 22:30 it was...

I looked out the back door, and everything was going to plan. Perfect clear skies, Orion rising above the trees, Monoceros following it. And would you bloody believe it... in the time it took me to throw on a pair of jeans, don a couple of layers of clothes (because it was very cold) and lug the telescope through the kitchen and into position, a thing veil of cloud had appeared across my celestial quarry. Thin cloud it may have been, but any cloud completely buggers up an evening's astronomy. The weather forecast says rain for the next few days.

The weather is a great leveling factor... it doesn't matter if you've bought a bargain-basement telescope, or paid thousands of pounds for a top-of-the-range catadioptric with a primary mirror the size of a serving platter - if it's cloudy, astronomy nerds from all walks of life are consigned to watching the television or updating their pointless web sites. Sigh...