Crap weather (10th July 2004)

Remember that day when Venus passed across the Sun? Now, that was Summer. Since then, the lyrics of that Stevie Wonder song, the one where he sings "It's hotter than July" have seemed almost as irrelevant as 'White Christmas' does at the end of every December. This week, and the week before, have been more like Autumn (or Fall for any North American readers). We've got the central heating on tonight, although that's the wife's choice, not mine. At 20:50 tonight I decided to cut the grass, for no better reason than it hadn't rained for a couple of hours and the forecast for tomorrow was yet more rain... so I took the chance. I'd barely finished before the rain started again.

Pippin thinks about her next meal.

Well, that's it for the discussion on the weather. It's the English man's cross to bear I suppose. I did take a rather good photo of a rainbow, but I can't imagine you'd be interested in seeing it (actually, it's now available as wallpaper). So instead, as promised, here's a picture of Pippin the hamster. She's looking quite large these days, although I think most of it is a combination of food stuffed in her cheeks and fur. This was one of several photos I took, but owing to the speed at which she moves this was the only really successful one. She's becoming very tame, and will climb out of the cage door straight into your hand, but only after doing a couple of laps of the cage first (like some sort of ritual).

Shrek 2 (27th June 2004)

Hooray for advanced screenings. After months of waiting we saw 'Shrek 2' today (two cinema visits in one week, crikey). Without beating around the bush and using lots of smart comments I'll just say this... it's absolutely fantastic. As good as the original? Yes.

'Shrek 2' - for kids of all ages.

There seemed to be a lot more going on, more characters, more adult gags (the Starbucks gag was my favourite), and visually more interesting. And there was plenty of fart gags and fairy tale references to keep the children happy. I had only three thoughts when I came out... 1) I wished I'd had some popcorn, 2) when can I see the movie again, and 3) when can I get it on DVD?

A word for the critics - I don't always take too much notice of reviews. If I want to see a film, I see it. Critics sometimes seem to be blinded by their own self-importance, and often get their evaluations wrong (in my opinion anyway). For example, I read a magazine today that gave 'The Day After Tomorrow' five stars but just four to 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban'. I think not. So how much notice should we take of the 10% of reviewers on Rotten Tomatoes who thought 'Shrek 2' was rubbish? Answer: none. I mean, listen to this... "Credit Shrek 2 for being the rare sequel that more or less equals its predecessor - the first film was garbage, and so is the second." Garbage? Well, I suppose everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But what a twat.

The darker side of Harry Potter (22nd June 2004)

dadams.co.uk is unlikely to be remembered as the no. 1 place on the web for movies reviews. I only just remembered that some of the Lotus boys and I went to see 'The Day After Tomorrow' last week. The fact that I only remembered it tonight shows how forgettable it was... it was an okay movie, and I enjoyed the first half, but it was like they played all their trump cards early on and the last hour of the movie dragged out to a rather corny anticlimax. Ho hum.

Compare this to the gripping third installment of the Harry Potter saga that Choddo and I went to see tonight. Harry Potter? Surely that's for kids, isn't it? No so, in fact this would have given some of the younger ones nightmares to last them the week. I read 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban' after having my gall bladder removed last year (see here) and since then I've been looking forward to seeing the movie version. The first two movies were good, but the trailers and reviews for the latest episode to hit the big screen promised something different. And it certainly was. Gone is the rather cosy feel of the first two - incoming director Alfonso Cuarón has created a much darker world, revamping the layout and feel of Hogwarts and adding an eerie claustrophobic atmosphere. The movie moves at break-neck speed (well, it has to in order to squeeze the detailed story into less than three hours) and the comic relief is mostly dispensed with. It's visually impressive, at times rather arty, and Cuarón's take on the story prevents the series from becoming stale (I felt that watching 'Chamber of Secrets' was just like watching the first movie all over again but with Kenneth Branagh playing the stooge). So all-in-all, well recommended.

More is to come for cinema visits this Summer... 'Shrek 2' will be a family outing (we're all big fans of the original 'Shrek' in this house), but I suspect that the awesome-looking 'Spider-Man 2' will be a boys' night out. 'I, Robot' also looks worth a viewing. I might make an effort to see 'Alien vs Predetor' (it'll probably be rubbish, but entertaining rubbish). 'Thunderbirds' looks very worrying, but if 'The Bourne Supremacy' is as good as the first installment that'll be worth seeing. Movies to miss...? 'Garfield', 'Catwoman', and (I'm sorry to say) 'Around the World in 80 Days'.

And finally... I noticed this on a page of the excellent movie review web site Rotten Tomatoes. I think they might have made an error. 'Spider-Man 3' is described as follows:

"John Woo will produce this remake of Sam Peckinpah's 1975 espionage thriller of the same title."

Open source alternatives (21st June 2004)

Many people, I've discovered, think they only have one option for e-mail and web browsing, and that's especially true of the home market. Most computers come with Windows installed, and by association they will have Internet Explorer and Outlook Express installed too. Most Internet Service Providers will offer POP or IMAP-based e-mail, and their tutorials will explain how to set up an e-mail account using Outlook Express.

In the corporate space, there is of course a more reliable and secure alternative to Outlook and Exchange... need I tell you I'm talking about Lotus Notes and Domino? Probably not. Well, you now have an alternative for home use as well. I say "now" despite the fact these products have been available for quite a while... but now they are nearing the final stages of their version 1 development. I'm taking about Mozilla Firefox (the web browser) and Mozilla Thunderbird (the e-mail client). I've been using these excellent (free) open source products for a fairly long time now, and they get better with each point release. I initially fell in love with Firefox (previously known as Firebird) when it provided me with pop-up-free browsing... it had a mechanism to kill off those odious pop-up windows that blight the Internet. Okay, you can now get add-in toolbars for Internet Explorer to do the same thing, but I rate Firefox as the pioneer of the fight-back. It also has a few other nifty features such as tabbed browsing (i.e. multiple pages within one Firefox session), improved searching (built-in Google, dictionary searches, and find on a page), and the ability to use themes (my favourite is Foood's iCandy Junior, which is also available for Thunderbird).



Thunderbird wins over Outlook Express in several ways - firstly, it doesn't act as a virus delivery system. So many viruses are propagated thanks to Outlook Express' weak security model, but Thunderbird doesn't suffer the same fate. The second win for Thunderbird is it's handling of junk mail. Following my recent change of Internet host, I was plagued by unsolicited mail which was being sent to the postmaster of dadams.co.uk and then routed through to my other personal mail account. Thunderbird looks at what you place in it's junk mail folder, and from then on does it for you. I was receiving up to 60 unwanted mails per day plus a handful that were really intended for me... Thunderbird dealt with them with 100% accuracy, so all I had to do was empty the junk mail folder every so often (by the way, I have been able to turn off the unsolicited mail at source now, thanks to the extremely detailed admin tools provided by my Internet host).

For more info and to download the software, click on the graphics below...

Daz versus the Palm (9th June 2004)

It's been about three months since I bought my Palm Tungsten T3 in Boston, and me and my little chrome friend have been getting on famously. However, in the past couple of weeks it seems to have developed a nasty competitive streak. To go with the Palm applications I already owned from a previous device (the Palm Vx, now being used by the wife) I purchased a copy of Handmark's Scrabble. Whenever I get some free time, like being on a train or a plane, or in a boring meeting, the Palm and I engage in a battle of words. Until a couple of weeks ago the honours were roughly even, with me winning a few and the Palm on intermediate level winning a few. Anyone who plays Scrabble will know that sometimes you get a stinker of a letter selection (fours E's and three I's don't make for a winning score) but that's part and parcel of the game. My highest score to date is 404, the Palm's is 446.

But just lately I've got the suspicion that the Palm might be using it's little electronic brain a bit too much behind the scenes. If you don't know, you get a fifty point bonus if you use all seven tiles in one turn (I've only done this once with 'warthog'). The Palm has now adopted the habit of doing this at least once a game, often twice. Okay, so the Palm has access to a wide vocabulary, but some of the words it throws into the game are a little unusual... it has an advantage over me in that it can look through the dictionary. Wait till you see some of these words (see below).

Finally, and I'm still not accusing the Palm of cheating because this final factor is (I'm sure) random... the distribution of letters. I can remember four occasions in the last week where I've been handed the letter Q (worth ten points) late in the game when all four U's have already been deployed. Early in the game it's great to get a Q, late in the game it's more likely to knock ten points off my score and add it to the Palm's score (which is already high because of it's ability to dump a long bizarre word on the triple-word score and get extra points by using all of the tiles).

Here are a selection of some the words that the Palm has used in recent games along with their description from the in-built dictionary - do you think Palmy is cheating? I'll tell you one thing, the Dreamweaver spell checker didn't recognise most of these.

bawtie noun - a dog vulgo adjective - commonly ayin noun - a Hebrew letter aconite noun - a poisonous herb shivaree verb - from chivearee, to perform a mock serenade pilosity noun - the state of being pilose (of course, silly me) aliyah noun - the immigration of Jews to Israel venal adjective - open to bribery tryma noun - a type of nut plangent adjective - resounding badly jeton noun - from jetton, a piece used in counting kalam noun - a type of Muslim theology ootid noun - a section of a mature ovum malic adjective - pertaining to apples torulae noun - plural of a type of fungus purdah noun - a curtain used in India to seclude women flub verb - to bungle fyce noun - feist xeric adjective - requiring only a small amount of moisture spavie noun - from spavin, a disease of horses numen noun - a deity laevo adjective - from levo, turning toward the left sentimo noun - a monetary unit of the Phillipines awee adjective - awhile soldi noun - plural of soldo, a former coin of Italy

Later that evening... as if to prove me right, the Palm won another game (but only just) after using all seven tiles twice. It got an extra one hundred points for 'zingiest' and 'vernicle'. But it still only beat me 349 to 354. Wondering what 'vernicle' means? It's derived from 'veronica' which is, according to the Scrabble dictionary, 'a handkerchief bearing the image of Christ's face'. No, I'm not making this up.

Roman holiday (1st June 2004)

Many, many years ago (further back in time than I'll admit), I went on a school trip that took me, five other guys and about thirty-five girls (oh, and a few teachers) to Florence, Pisa, Rome, Sorrento, Capri, Pompeii, and Herculaneum. It was a great trip, not because there were 5.833 girls to every guy (an even better demographic than in Jan & Dean's song "Surf City"), but because I was really interested in Roman history and stuff like that at the time. Yes, I was interested in girls too, but my girlfriend at the time didn't go on the trip (and one of her mates watched me like a hawk).

Me at the Colosseum (this time round, not on the school trip, obviously).

But you know what school trips are like. I don't mean the bit where one of lads who reckons he's a bit hard buys a bottle of cider, gets legless and then you all have to cover for him. That didn't happen on this trip. I'm talking about the amount of time you get to see things before you're hustled back on the coach. So I wanted to return to Rome to see some of the bits I got a fleeting glimpse of.

Even better would be seeing some of the sights while it wasn't raining. I have some photos in the loft (must dig them out and scan a few) that remind me that on the day we went to the Roman forum, it was pissing down. I have a photo of my old chum Richard Davies standing next to the statues of the Vestal Virgins, smiling, but his face was virtually obscured by the mist and the hood on his anorak. My memory of the Colosseum was that we only stood at the entrance and looked in before we had to leave. The weather was a lot better by the time we reached Sorrento (about 160 miles South East), and it was a very warm late March day when we walked around Pompeii. I want to go back there too.

As much as I've always wanted to go back to Rome, eventually it was the wife who arranged it, and it worked out rather well because our tenth wedding anniversary was a good excuse to spend the money. The trip started well - we got upgraded to business class on the British Airways flight (thanks once again to our friend David who manages customer service at Gatwick).

Things could have taken a turn for the worse when we got to the hotel. I gave the lady at reception my name, and she disappeared for ages. Then she reappeared from the office and said "you are lucky". Anyone at this point would be wondering why they were lucky. "We are moving you to another hotel" she continued, and before I could start with the "now just hang on a minute" routine she told us that the hotel we were standing in was four star, they had a problem with a "floor" and they were moving us to a five star hotel not far away for no extra charge. Hmmm, okay, not a bad deal. They even paid for a taxi to take us there, although that was a bit of a farce. The taxi literally drove us across the road. We could have walked quicker. Of course, we didn't see the room in the original hotel, but I can't imagine it was better than the junior suite they put us in in the Aleph.

From there onwards we did the usual tourist things... the Trevi Fountain, the Spanish Steps, the Colosseum (all of it), the Roman forum, and St Peter's. More on that in a second. We also ate loads of ice cream... well, it would have been rude not to.

St Peter's turned into a bit of a challenge. We walked everywhere, and after getting to St Peter's on a very hot afternoon, having already walked to the Colosseum and round the Roman forum, we got there to find it wasn't going to open for another hour and a half. It was already very busy with loads of groups of pilgrims waiting to go in. So we decided to try again on Sunday morning. It didn't seem too crowded then, and after a short wait we got through security and up to the next gate... where Maria was refused entrance because her top didn't cover her shoulders. Oh well... as philosophical as ever, she looked at it as an opportunity to catch some rays while I went in armed with the camcorder and digital camera. When I came out twenty minutes later, she wasn't by the gate... and several million people had arrived. Then I heard someone who sounded very old talking in a language I didn't understand. Mr Lloyd, my Latin teacher? No... it was the man himself, the Pope. I forced my way through the crowd and there he was at a window. I got a photo (see the Rome photo album) and a bit of video before he disappeared. Maria saw the whole thing (she didn't understand a word either), and it made up for not getting into the Basilica.

I'll close with a few of memories from this excellent short break. The first was the look on the wife's face after I eventually found the way to the hillside that overlooks the site of the Circus Maximus. We'd wandered around for ages before finding it, and suddenly there it was... actually there's nothing there, just an outline of where it was. But after all these years I needed to see it.

The second was the wife's amazement that I was so adept at reading the map. As I said, we went everywhere on foot and I always managed to get us where we were going. The reason this is so amazing? Back at home I can just about manage to find my way to work or to Camberley town centre, but I don't know where anything else is.

Finally, have a chuckle at the very poor English in this sign seen at the top of the Spanish Steps. Surely they must have had someone available to proof-read it? This is just some of the sign; further down it stated "DO NOT shout, racket, and sing". Mind you, I shouldn't laugh really. I don't know a word of Italian apart from "gelata".

Rodent update (27th May 2004)

Pippin the hamster is getting bigger, and getting dafter. In a previous entry I reported on how this strange creature had taken to carrying food into it's wheel and then running around in it all night. Those South African Airlines business class earplugs were coming in handy. Then our miniature furry friend started weeing in the wheel (are you sure you want to know all this?). I'm now pleased to say that she seems to be getting the idea about the toilet unit. But she's still doing the food / wheel trick... and something else. See the picture here...

Strange, really strange.

So, let me explain what's going on here regarding Pippin's sleeping arrangements. That blue top compartment (top-centre) is supposed to be the sleeping quarters, accessible via a tunnel. She took to sleeping in there for the first couple of weeks. However, she now favours the wheel as a bedroom. Well, why not..? If it's good for running round in at 50 mph, and filling with food that makes a loud rattling noise, why not take all your bedding in there for a kip? This is the really strange habit... she moves all of that bedding out during the evening when she's most active, and then carries it all in again later. All together now... aaaahhh.

If you've been expecting a picture of Pippin (I know Hayley has) then sorry to disappoint you. There will be one soon, but I've only seen her during the evening recently. I'm actually worried about taking a photo with the flash - hamsters have large dark eyes and I wouldn't like to be held responsible for blinding her (try explaining that to one of your kid... "sorry, Daddy blinded your hamster"). Hamsters are, by all acounts, quite nervous creatures, so again the shock of the flash going off could do something nasty to it's little heart.

On a completely different subject, I have my first real magic gig booked. It's only doing some close-up tricks for the kids at the school's family fun-day, but it's a start. I took the opportunity to sort out all the tricks (I bought big tool box to arrange and store them in). I didn't know I had so many divided up into various bags and boxes. And of course I've used it as an excuse to buy a few more. Only one more thing to do now... practise. A lot. The sight of six-year old girls looking unimpressed could really dent the old ego.

Ice cream crisis (17th May 2004)

It's important in a marriage to have things in common. Among the many things the wife and I enjoy sharing is a tub of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream. Personally I love many of the Ben & Jerry's flavours (in particular Caramel Chew Chew), but Chunky Monkey is the wife's favourite and I'm happy to go along with it. You know how it works guys... if the wife's happy, we're happy. Once this was a pleasure restricted to Woking cinema (the place with the sticky floors) but since we discovered via the Ben & Jerry's web site that our local Budgens supermarket sold our favourite dessert it's been hard to keep the consumption down to one tub a week. Then, disaster strikes...

I strolled into Budgens, over to the Ben & Jerry's freezer cabinet, and there it wasn't. At first I thought they'd just run out, but then I noticed that the other flavours were labeled and Chunky Monkey wasn't. I asked to see the manager, but he'd escaped out the stock room door and was running across the car park. When I got home a quick check on the web site revealed that Budgens were no longer listed as a supplier. Several other retail establishments were listed, but a phone call round to the local branches revealed the information to be "unreliable".

Salvation comes courtesy of Blockbuster Video. As yes, that Great British pass time... rent a video (or more likely a DVD) and like a good couch potato stuff yourself senseless with something healthy like crisps, popcorn, chocolate... or ice cream. Yes, Blockbuster Video in Woking (but not Frimley) stocked Chunky Monkey. A bit of a drive compared to Lightwater (location of the shamed Budgens), so I phoned to check the stock situation. A rather bemused girl told me they did stock that flavour and she "thought they had some in stock". I explained this was a serious matter and requested that she checked. They had four tubs, so I asked her to reserve them, When I arrived, she hadn't reserved them, and there were now only three tubs left. I asked to see the manager, but he'd already escaped via the back door.

The only problem now is having three (no, sorry, two) tubs sitting in the freezer. Surely a test of one's resolve. I wonder how often Blockbuster Video get new stock in. I wonder if a letter of complaint to the managing director of Budgens would do any good.

A couple of other things... Arsenal did make it through the entire season with a league defeat, and they finished a whole 15 points ahead of Moan Utd. How great is that?

And finally, I was going to post a full synopsis of the annual farce known as the Eurovision Song Contest. However, my old mate Woody Cocks beat me to it, and his write-up is rather good. So I'll just add two comments. The first is only to agree that the voting becomes more ridiculous every year. Neighbouring countries vote for each other, and long-standing relationships and grudges skew the result. It's amazing that even the former Yugoslavian nations, who were murdering each other in very recent history, now give each other top marks.

The second point is about how to win the contest. The best way to do this is a) don't piss off everyone else in Europe by going to war (mind you, the French weren't complaining about us joining the war in the 1940's) and b) make sure your song is memorable - it doesn't matter if it's shite (the winner was), just make sure everyone remembers it when it's time to cast the votes. Our entry was nice but dull. The winner from Ukraine was a musical wreck, but it was lively and the singer wore a skimpy leather outfit. Good idea for next year, and if we break England up into twelve independent states, each with their own voting rights, we could be in with a chance. Unless they get Cliff Richard to sing it, in which case we'll have to wait till 2006.

A new car, but a bit like the old one (14th May 2004)

I have a new car. Three years has elapsed since the silver-blue BMW 302i saloon turned up, and thus it was time to move on. Perhaps I've mentioned this before but I'm not very interested in cars, so when the decision for a new one was being made I merely took the easiest path... I've had three BMWs previously, I've liked them and I know where all the buttons are. The only difference this time was electing to have a coupe rather than the four-door saloon, and I decided on the diesel version. I'd heard that diesel cars can be a bit sluggish, but this is not the case with the BMW 320cd... if anything it's faster than the 320i in the upper gears. Not that this matters particularly. My average speed over the past three years has been around the 26 mph mark. I remember when looking at my first BMW the salesman told me "it'll do 0 - 60 in 8 seconds"... "not if the person in front of you does 0 - 60 in 9 seconds" I replied. This macho fascination with speed is why so many people are killed on our roads.

The real reason for choosing a diesel version is simple. Money. By taking the diesel version I will pay about £140 a month less in company car tax. That's nearly £1,700 a year. Enough said. The other advantage is the miles per gallon, as I find stopping for petrol to be one of the most boring things in my life (along with cutting the grass and shaving). In the 320i I was lucky to get 30 mpg. On my first journey in the diesel yesterday, a 270 mile round-trip to Gloucester, the trip computer measured the fuel consumption at 52.4 mpg. Okay, that was a long run at 68 mph (roughly) in 6th gear. I'm sure I won't get that kind of fuel economy in a normal week, but it looks like stopping at the petrol station will become a less frequent pastime.

A final topic, not connected to the car in any way, but relevant to a recent Hall of Shame update... junk mail. The BBC's "Brassed-Off Britain" covered the subject last night and revealed some incredible statistics... for example, every year in the UK we throw away enough junk mail to equal the weight of eighteen QEIIs (as in the ocean liner). They then had an interview with the manager of a direct marketing company who claimed that the public "don't really mind about receiving unsolicited mail". Well, I don't know who they'd spoken to to do their research, but I can tell you one thing mate, I bloody well mind. The way the slimey git lied and defended his odious trade, I was just dying for amiable but cheeky presenter Matt Allwright to lose his rag and punch him square in his weaslely face (please note, I mean no offence to weasles).

There is however a good side to this story, and the wife and I committed ourselves to this plan. They then interviewed a lady who was campaigning to outlaw junk mail, and one of her courses of action was this... whenever you receive junk mail that is accompanied by a reply-paid envelope, use it. You can include a note to tell them to go screw themselves, or include a few hamster droppings... but whatever, use the envelope and get the worthless reply back to them. It will cost these organisations money in postage and resource to process the replies. Tell everyone you know to do it. They dump junk mail on us, now it's our turn... send the crap back to them at their expense.

A new addition to the family (11th May 2004)

This was one of the most frigthening examples of a child's manipulation of their parents ever witnessed. The wife and the offspring went to a local DIY store that contains a craft centre... and a pet centre. Upon their return, Lauren asked me if she could have a hamster - Maria wasn't putting up much resistance. In the space of an hour, my stance moved from "no" to "let's go and see how much the hamster and it's accomodation will cost, but we're not going to get one if it's too expensive". Half a mile down the road, Lauren had already chosen the hamster's name (Pippin). Half an hour later, we'd looked at hamster dwellings, but I decided that we should go to a larger pet store with more of a choice. By the time we were on our way to Badshot Lea any further resistance was looking rather futile. Once inside, Lauren was choosing a hamster and I was left to determine the best cage (we bought the Rotastak Super Pod with an additional attic bedroom). An expensive afternoon - the actual hamster was only 10% of the total cost.

To tell you the truth, I was never really that adverse to getting a hamster - I got the impression that I wasn't going to be the one to take care of her, and even if I did take over some duties, it wasn't going to involve a walk down the end of the garden in the pouring rain. She is very cute, despite her nocturnal habit of carrying food into her exercise wheel (which is a closed unit accessed via a tunnel) and then dropping the food and clattering it round the wheel.

One of the sad things about owning a hamster is their life-span. My theory is that hamsters were put on this Earth to teach small children about mortality. Put it this way... buy a six-year-old a puppy, and the old canine will probably throw a seven when your child is at university. Buy a six-year-old a hamster, and it will be running around the great wheel in the sky long before the kid's 9th birthday.

More news on the hamster soon, hopefully with some progress on the toilet training and perhaps even a picture. There, that will put the site's hit rate up.

Champions (26th April 2004)

As expected, Arsenal have taken the Premiership title. And they still have four matches to play. The oh-so-smug Chelsea team and their "we'll be ready and waiting when Arsenal slip up" vow seem to have become rather quiet, drawing and losing a number of matches since their Champions' League win. Moan Utd have also aspired to mediocrity, being out-performed by the likes of Portsmouth. It now remains to be seen if Arsenal can go unbeaten for a whole season - "impossible" they once said, but having gone thirty-four matches without losing, avoiding defeat in the final four matches seems a realistic goal. Well, as long as they don't do what they did against Spurs. Arsenal were 2-0 up at half-time, and looked more likely to score four more than concede two. But concede two they did, albeit to a speculative long-range shot and a hugely controversial penalty. This type of cruising when ahead is okay when you have points to spare and are playing Spurs, but it's not going to bring the title to Highbury in the 2004 / 2005 season. Man Utd will rise again (following the spending of some big bucks) and Chelsea's band of megastars may learn to play together. But in the meantime, let's just enjoy the look of the league table as it stands today. So Chelsea and Man Utd won those two matches...

Team Played Won Drawn Lost Goal diff. Points 1 Arsenal 34 24 10 0 45 82 2 Chelsea 35 22 6 7 32 72 3 Man Utd 35 22 5 8 28 71 4 Liverpool 35 14 11 10 13 53

900 miles in a Buick (24th April 2004)

The lack of updates over the past couple of weeks is easily accounted for... we've been on holiday to Florida, visiting my brother Steve and his family. Why 900 miles in a Buick? That's because we booked the flights fairly late and flew to Miami instead of Orlando or Tampa, thus halving the flight costs. The downside was that we then had to stay overnight in Fort Lauderdale (I can recommend the Holiday Inn By The Sea to absolutely no-one, apart from vagrants or people with extremely low expectations) and then drive 200 or so miles to Davenport (south of Orlando). That still doesn't equate to 900 miles - the remainder of the mileage was incurred by driving to Clearwater where we spent the weekend with my dad and his wife Susan (who also live in Florida), and various trips to shopping outlets, Sea World, and other shopping outlets.

We also did the usual tourist stuff - Disney's Magic Kingdom, along with 50,000 other people (all at an average of $50, plus $7 per car for parking - not a bad day's revenue) and then Sea World which was far less crowded but no cheaper. But the experience of feeding dolphins and then seeing them swimming with their calves underwater is well worth the money. I also took advantage of the favourable exchange rate, saving over £200 on a PAL version of a Sony digital camcorder (good move, our old one was embarrassingly large and I looked like part of a film crew compared to other parents at school events). The wife's "we'll just pop in here for 30 minutes" at the outlet mall turned into 2 hours, and even though items cost less in dollars than they do in pounds I groaned later as I surveyed the wreckage of my wallet.

Other than that we just relaxed - every house in the Hampton Lakes development has a swimming pool attached, and the weather was better than anyone in the UK could ever dream of in April. The wife keeps asking me if we could find a good reason to move here. I think she has a point.

Other points of note... firstly, the price of petrol. When I was in Boston a couple of months back they were bemoaning the price of "gas" (it's not a gas, it's in liquid form) on television. Okay all you British people, would you complain about 15 gallons for £14.71? No, me neither. Secondly, I have now experienced Miami traffic at rush hour. I feel that this is something I've done now, and don't wish to repeat ever in my life. What I don't understand is this - American's are usually so polite and courteous when your paths cross in the street or in shops, yet when they get in their cars they cease to notice the existence of other drivers. I lost count of the number of times my indicators were ignored as I tried to change lanes. Okay, perhaps that's just Florida motorists but I do feel that British drivers, by comparison, are far more likely to hold back and let someone into the traffic.

A word for smug Chelsea and Moan Utd fans (11th April 2004)

I've avoided the subject of football so far this season, but I feel I have to comment on this week's happenings. For those not in the know, my team (Arsenal) saw their hopes of a treble disintegrate after being knocked out of both the F A Cup and then the Champions' League in the space of four days. The F A Cup loss was particularly painful, as there are fewer sporting moments finer than Arsenal beating Man Utd (or Man Utd losing in any shape or form). Okay, I'll admit that Arsenal weren't at their best in either match, despite the fact that Arsenal should have taken an early lead against Utd, and they had the better of the first half against Chelsea in the Champions' League semi-final. But lose they did in both matches, and I have to take that on the chin along with the other Arsenal supporters. However...

What I am not prepared to put up with is gloating from Chelsea or Man Utd fans, and listening to crap jokes about Arsenal losing their bottle and the ill-informed opinions of pundits who claim that Arsenal's Premiership title hopes are about to fall apart. Let's look at the facts...

Arsenal have yet to lose a Premiership match this season - that's a record-breaking run of thirty-two matches unbeaten with a goal difference of +40. Chelsea are now seven points behind and have lost five matches. Man Utd are thirteen points behind (admittedly with a game in hand) and have lost six matches. Arsenal have of course lost some matches this season - there was the Carling Cup in which they lost both semi-final legs to Middlesbrough. But this was a weakened Arsenal side against a team that really wanted to win a trophy for the first time in their history - it isn't a competition Arsenal take seriously... bigger fish to fry.

Players who've lost their bottle don't score hat-tricks.

Arsenal's Champion's League campaign got off to a disastrous start, with two defeats and a draw in the first 3 matches. They were heading out of the competition until they won the final three group-stage matches, notching up a 5-1 away win against Inter Milan in the process, and finally finished top of their group. Does that sound like a team who lost their bottle? I think not - it sounds like a team who upped their game and found some nerve and resolve.

So finally we return to the wretched start of April and those two - just two - matches that ended the hopes of a treble. They just happened to be the two most high-profile of the season. So does that make Arsenal a poor team of failures? No, they just succumbed to the two other serious rivals in the league. Man Utd had already been dumped out of the Champions' League, Chelsea were already out of the F A Cup (beaten by Arsenal as it happens). So they didn't even get a sniff of a treble. Man Utd were beaten in the Premiership by Wolves, Southampton, Middlesbrough, Fulham and Man City. So what was their excuse? Where was their bottle on those days? Chelsea have been beaten by Bolton and Charlton - neither of these should be able to match the might of the £100 million plus team.

The final word goes to Arsenal however. All eyes were on the team apparently in a state of collapse as they played their third match in seven days - Liverpool came to Highbury for a Premiership clash and went in 2-1 up at half-time. That was Liverpool's glory moment, as they finished 4-2 losers. So had Arsenal lost their bottle? No way. So, okay, winning the F A Cup or Champions' League is a great achievement, no debate there. But the Premiership title is won or lost based on thirty-eight matches - and that's enough to measure a team's resilience and nerve. Any Man Utd or Chelsea supporters who want to gloat, I suggest you have a look at the Premiership table, and then wait patiently to see whether your team actually does lift that trophy.