With hours to go before the start of the global gigs, the knives are out. Critics are pointing out that the stars are jetting in and arriving by gas-guzzling limousines, and are more concerned about what it will do for their own careers rather than what it’ll do for the Solar System’s third planet. That’s a bit mean really. I mean, what’s the alternative? Shall we all just not bother, and carry on as we are?

Anyway, there I was flicking through the list of artists for London… Keane (zzzz), Razorlight (featuring that white-jeaned tw*t), Genesis (prog-rock dinosaurs, I’ll never forgive them for selling out to crap like ‘We Can’t Dance’), James Blunt (pass me that bottle of pills), Spinal Tap (could be great, could be too awful to watch), Madonna (put some clothes on woman), and (thank the stars) the Foo Fighters. Still, it could be worse, you could be in Germany and have to snooze your way through the human insomnia cure known as Katie Melua and the bloke who represented his home nation in the Eurovision Song Contest.

Billy Corgan of the PumpkinsTurning my attention to the New Jersey gig… wait a minute… a somewhat forgettable line-up features some pure gold. The Police have to be worth watching, Roger Waters and (can it be true?) the Smashing Pumpkins. Well, who cares what the intentions are, the Pumpkins are playing live on a world stage. And their new album is out next week. How cool is this?

Shame Incubus aren’t playing.